Recycled Grief
There’s been a trial that’s been particularly emotionally and spiritually painful this year, that God has allowed me to go through.
One night, after the small group meeting that I attend was over, a friend who has gone through a similar circumstance came over to me and shared encouragement God had laid on her heart for me. She’d also shared she’d been praying for me that day. I can’t even remember exactly what her words were, but I was so encouraged! It was even more impacting because I knew she understood because she has and still is going through a trial so similar. But she was able to turn her painful experience into encouragement to me because God has already worked in her heart concerning this matter.
I was once again reminded how God can use those He’s redeemed to strengthen and encourage each other. To speak words of hope through pain. Indeed, to recycle our personal grief and suffering and use it for another’s good and benefit.As God always likes to reinforce His lessons, a few days later I was again reminded that, “It’s helpful to acknowledge how you have suffered and whether you surrendered the hurt to God for him to use to complete his work on earth” (Katie Brazelton). It’s easy to focus on one’s trials and feel that they might be unfair or undeserving. And some may be. However, when we look at our trials, grief, and suffering, and ask God how He wants to use these things to complete His work on earth, how different our outlook can be! When we come to the point we can take our focus off of ourselves and focus on God, He may show us that, “The circumstances of your past can help you find purpose and fulfillment in your life as you befriend someone who is experiencing a crisis that you have already lived through. Put another way, your grief is meant to be recycled into something useful that blesses the life of another, as soon as you’re able” (Katie Brazelton).
How thankful that God can recycle our grief and turn it into something good for His purposes!
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
What personal grief (that you feel comfortable sharing) have you experienced that God’s been able to work through and in turn, used to minister or comfort someone else?
This is such an encouraging post. I have had two miscarriages one this last year and have some issues that could effect my fertility. I also have an unexplained pain that i have been testing for most of this year that can be annoying and also cause worry. After my miscarriage two friends at church also had a miscarriage and I was able to pray with them, tell them I KNOW how you feel, and encourage them through phone calls and talks and my favorite book and with some uplifiting music. There were so many women who were able to do the same for me. As for my trial with daily pain and no apparant reason why I don’t know what God has for me with that but I am trying to push through, trust Him and focus on Him instead of my pain. I am sure that someday I will see a reason or be able to use what He is teaching me. When I look back on my life and my serious accidents and things that have been trials if I was allowed to do it over without having to experience those trials and pain and suffering…I would choose instead to do it all again. I am the person I am today because of those trials. I have relationships and charateristics that I would not have or would not be as special or strong without experiencing the pain. So as much as I hate going through trials…once I am through it I see the benefit they have had on my life.
Great post Danielle. I will be praying for you that you will be recyling your grief and pain soon.
Great post, Danielle! I know exactly what my answer is.
When our boys were born 8 1/2 weeks early they spent 4 weeks in the NICU. It was the most difficult 4 weeks of my life. But God used my experience to be able to minister to other moms going through the same situation. In 2 1/2 years, I have had 4 friends who’s baby was in the NICU for an extended period. Two of these moms had full term babies who needed extra care and the other two were moms of preemies.
Although I didn’t enjoy the trial that having children in the NICU brings, I am grateful for the opportunity to serve, pray for and help other friends in the same boat.
Miscarriages, secondary infertility, freak birthing experience with Joel, postpartum and clinical depression, and strained family relationships. What a line-up, eh? But I was just telling Jason (pastor on crutches) that I wish everyone could go thru a physical setback like we have in order to realize so many more truths about God and ourselves as a result. I never felt more loved than when I was totally unable to care for myself or fix my own difficulties.
It’s amazing to know that God plans our griefs and trials. They aren’t haphazard nor are they purposeless. Trials are a sign of his love for us. (prov. 17:3, ps. 66:10). How quickly we can become bitter and angry when our paths turn from smooth to rocky. Yet, with the hope that all things work together for our good, our hearts can truly say, “test me and know me.”
No long after my mother’s death, I got engaged to be married. My father was unable to cope with the loss of control (of not only his life but mine, as well) and rejected my fiance (now husband) and me outright.
I now mentor a newly-engaged recent college grad whose mother is reacting similarly to what should be great news, and stealing Christy’s joy as well. Amazing that God has given me experiences to speak back to that hurt and rejection.
I never thought that year with my dad would be redeemable. Yet here we are! God IS good, isn’t he?!
I don’t really feel comfortable sharing on a blog but wanted to thank you for this post, especially right now…very encouraging, even if just to remind me that we are not alone in having struggles.
This post came at a time of the year when I am flooded with sad memories. My mother died of BC 11 years ago the 17th, at age 44. Yesterday I was trying to stay busy and not dwell on the sad stuff, we were at our county fair. Anyway, God sent this man that knows my family and he just started this converstion with me about heaven. He talked to me about his mother dying and how he pictured her in heaven, etc… I feel I was on the recieving end this time and that he was sent to me to encourage me. What a blessing that in our grief, or hurts or whatever that we have other believers to comfort us. Thanks for your transparency.
Danielle,
Great post and so true. I like Zoanna have never felt as loved and cared for as I was after Scott was killed in a car accident. God has recycled that pain and I have been able to help other Mom’s who have lost older children. Most recently I was able to send some wonderful resources to the Barranco family. Not that I have all the answers but I can proclaim God’s faithfulness and grace in times of sorrow and pain. Thanks for this post it is a good reminder to me of what my “good” looks like now!!!
Donna Bishop
Wow, thanks for all of your responses! It was refreshingly wonderful to see how God uses our pain to minister to others in similar pain. I pray that those of you currently going through pain and hard times would be encouraged by what was shared here. Thank you all for your wonderful examples.